Ellie Shuler

My future has always seemed daunting. I’m a planner, and I love sticking to schedules and having specific times to do specific things. Unlike school and my work schedule, my future cannot be completely planned. I can have my preferences for what the rest of my life will bring me, but I know nothing is guaranteed. This not only worries me, but it terrifies me.
As long as I have lived, or as far back as I can remember, I’ve always been retentive in the way things are done. I want things to be in order and be planned. I like going out and being
a little spontaneous, but I also enjoy having a set agenda. I don’t like when people are late, and I don’t like when I am late.
After high school, the plans and actions that you make are detrimental to how the rest of your life goes. You need to try hard in school, or at least try hard enough to have semi-all right grades. I’ve always tried in school, even when I felt discouraged. Planning my post-high school
world is insanely difficult. For me, it is not as simple as trying hard in school.
In elementary school, I wanted to be a teacher. I enjoyed learning, so, in theory, I would enjoy teaching. As I grew older, I realized teaching was not what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.
I have always been interested in the ocean and marine life. So, marine biology was an obvious choice for me. I did research, and although the pay wasn’t ideal, the excitement of doing what I loved made up for it.
Since I decided that marine biology was what I wanted to go into, I’ve become very passionate about that specific field… until senior year. I know that most people go through a senior slump, or catch “senior-itis,” but my slump is a little different. I was so sure of myself and what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I started thinking realistically.
I’ve started to think of my future income and how the pay for a marine biologist would affect me and my future family. Not to be cynical, but the economy is horrible and I do not see it getting any better in my lifetime. I don’t want my future children to have to be worried about money troubles and I want to be able to live comfortably. So here I am, the clock ticking down, wondering what I want to do with my life.
(Ellie is a senior at Harlan County High School)