If I’m being real, my biggest flaw is that I worry way too much. I overthink everything, even the smallest things. Sometimes it feels like my mind never really shuts off. I’ll replay conversations in my head, wondering if I said the wrong thing, or stress about stuff that hasn’t even happened yet. Deep down, I know worrying doesn’t fix anything, but it’s something I do without even trying. It’s like my brain does it on auto pilot, and I can’t always stop it.
I think a lot of my worrying comes from wanting things to go right. I hate messing up, and I don’t like seeing people I care about upset. Instead of just letting things be and going with the flow, I get caught up in my head trying to figure out every little detail. Sometimes that helps me stay prepared, but most of the time it just stresses me out even more. I end up stuck on all the “what ifs” and forget to enjoy the moment I’m actually in, which is frustrating because I know I’m missing out on the present by worrying about the future.
The hardest part is how it makes me doubt myself. Even when I know I can handle something, I’ll still second-guess it—like I’m not smart enough, or not good enough, even though I’ve already proved to myself that I am. It’s like I’m always bracing for the worst for no real reason, and honestly that’s exhausting. But at the same time, l’ve realized it also pushes me to try harder. I pay attention to details, I double-check myself, and I make sure I don’t take things lightly. It shows I care, and that I want the best for myself and the people around me.
I’ve also noticed that worrying connects me to my family in a way, because my mom and my aunt are the same exact way. They overthink just like I do, and sometimes we even laugh about it. Knowing that I’m not the only one who thinks like this makes me feel less alone, and it also shows me that even flaws can be something that runs deep in who you are
I’m still learning how to balance it. I’ve been reminding myself I can’t control everything, and sometimes I just have to trust myself and let life play out. Overthinking might be my biggest flaw, but it’s also part of what makes me, me. It shows I care, it shows I want things to go right, and even though I’m still figuring it out, I know I’m growing through it.
(Tanasia Cottrell is a junior at Harlan County High School)