As humans, we are born, we grow, we live, and we die; our cycle is simple without the extra bumps one experiences. Our emotions, minds, bodies and experiences are what make us so complex and individual. But no matter how different we are, there’s something everyone has to face and struggle coming to terms with: the ability to let go.
What does “letting go” mean? It means being aware of a certain feeling or situation, letting it run its course, and allowing it to help ourselves grow and learn; whether it’s guilt, anger, love, loss, or betrayal. Saying and typing it is easy, but doing it is extremely difficult. We find comfort in the familiar, even if it hurts or doesn’t benefit us, rather than embracing change and the unknown. So how do we step out of the security and comfort and step into the uncertainty and uncharted?
First, we must put ourselves first. Most of us are constantly worrying about others’ emotions that we forget about ours. We forget to take care of ourselves in order to keep others happy. To put yourself first, you have to remember that it’s all right to be a little selfish; it’s all right to want things for yourself without constantly worrying about what others want or expect from you. It’ll be difficult at first, but you’ll come out stronger on the other side.
Secondly, even if it seems counterintuitive, you must allow yourself to grieve. Grief looks different for everybody; many factors contribute to how individuals deal with the loss of something. Regardless, learning to address your sadness instead of pushing it down can help you. Relationships, whether it’s a partner, friend, pet or family member, shape who a person is, and losing one can push a person into grief. But the best way to overcome heavy emotions is to embrace them and let them go.
Thirdly, we have to learn from our mistakes. No one is perfect, and we will always make many mistakes in our lives, so we forgive ourselves and see what we can do to avoid making the same mistake again. Be honest and ask yourself why you made that mistake and how it affected anyone involved. Self-reflection and self-awareness are steps we can take to building a healthy relationship with ourselves and others.
Being able to let go certainly isn’t easy for anyone and takes a long time to accomplish, but it’s something we all have to do eventually. Progress isn’t linear, and it’s fine to relapse sometimes, but it’s the end goal that truly matters. Putting ourselves first, allowing ourselves to grieve, and learning from our mistakes might take a lifetime, but healthy relationships with ourselves and others are worth it.